tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10536531825684933832024-03-14T05:31:29.034+02:00From Fatiha to Naas: My Journey Through the Qur'anBismillah,
As salaamu alaikum,
This Blog is the documentation of my journey to memorize the Qur'an. How this works is after I memorize a page I will post, inshaAllah (God willing). I will also touch on the tafsir (explaination) of each page as I go along. Perhaps you, my family in humanity, can follow along with me in this super endeavor, or even memorize as well.Blackseedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15138820426739715840noreply@blogger.comBlogger50125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1053653182568493383.post-83293783576875440632023-07-15T04:48:00.003+03:002023-07-15T04:48:31.539+03:00Moving on is Hard<p> Bismillah</p><p>As Salaamu alaikum</p><p><br /></p><p>the past few weeks I assigned myself the task of completing the recitation of Baqara in my home every 3 days at least. When Baqara is recited in the home the devils leave for three days. </p><p>Immediately after I finish reciting it, every single time, I can feel the house purify. My children are less agitated. My mind becomes clear. And the quality of my thoughts change. This week I read Baqara Monday. Then I forgot to read it after that and three days passed. </p><p>It was subtle, the return of tue devils to my home. It felt like a cloud rolled in and worry began to furrow my brow. Thing is I wouldn’t even have noticed a difference if I hadn’t been reciting Baqara so often so many weeks. I thank Allah for granting me that opening. I thank Allah for allowing me to be a means of protection for my children. Alhamdulillah!</p>Blackseedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15138820426739715840noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1053653182568493383.post-61912888077330357532023-06-20T09:41:00.001+03:002023-06-20T09:41:20.051+03:00Milestones<p> Bismillah </p><p>Assalaamu alaikum,</p><p>Year 4, Day 678 (yes I just made that up)</p><p>I keep telling myself what to do and then not doing it. It took nearly 17 years (not making that up) for me to finally know what it takes to attain to Quran. It takes heart and courage. It takes obsession. It takes unforgiving, unrelenting marching and return. It takes sweat, tears and sadness. But first of all and most of all it takes humility and taubah. </p><p>I cannot do this except… with Allah’s gracious mercy. How kind is Allah! </p><p>When I first learned that the person who memorizes Quran goes to Jannah I was thrilled and wanted to give it a try. And when I learned that that person gets to take 70 others with them I was elated and floored at the same time. Memorizing Quran is the first thing I ever wanted to be when I grew up. And just this year I finally figured out exactly what its going got take to get there. </p><p>So here it is. I’ll tell you. Maybe you can get there before me. </p><p>Number one start with taubah repentance. Start with humility. Allah knows every secret in every corner of my soul and yours. And yet He still gives us eyes that see and ears that hear. Once I began to make taubah every day I started to see my sins. Don’t stop! And don’t be afraid Blackseed. Allah already knew my sins and He knows your sins. He is showing them to us in this world so we don’t have to deal with them on the day of judgement. So stay humble. </p><p>Number 2. Be realistic. I am not going to memorize the entire Quran in 6 months or 2 years. Stop making unrealistic goals and stop taking self defeating measures. Make a plan that is sensible and that you think you can stick to day after day with only 1 day off weekly and Eid holidays. Then cut that plan in half. This is the starting point. </p><p>Number three Start every day fresh and don’t cry about the past. I cannot go back to the time that I first began writing this blog and make myself have completed memorization. Reality doesn’t work that way. And it's not supposed to. You have to fail enough times that you give up. Then you have to pick yourself up enough times that it becomes a cliche, a joke. Until you… until I reached the point where quitting is no longer part of my vocabulary. Indeed! One must reach the point where failure no longer exists. There are simply days where Allah blessed me to do more work or days where Allah blessed me to get more rest. Period!</p><p>And finally one must rely on Allah the way the prophets did. They are the ones who understood the secret that most of us don’t perceive. Allah is orchestrating all of this. Every moment, of every second, of every breath, of every day is all being done by Allah. Will we not then be grateful. Will we not then relax? Will I not then leave my worry behind me? </p><p>Now that I know these truths I have only to write my plan and execute.</p><p>I know I can memorize a page a day. So I will memorize half a page per day. </p><p>Wake up and make taubah or 100 istighfar followed by at least 11 salawaat. Then read my half page 100 times. Then Revise Baqara</p><p>The second round of the day I memorize my half page then revise juz 28 thru 30. And thats all folks. That’s all. </p>Blackseedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15138820426739715840noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1053653182568493383.post-41932772306734530582023-06-20T03:26:00.001+03:002023-06-20T03:26:45.172+03:00<p> Bismillah</p><p>As Salaamu alaikum, </p><p>When I started this process I had no idea what in the world I was doing. It has taken four and a half years but I am finally getting the hang of it. Sing a song of Praise for Allah. I had no idea the stamina it would take to read even 1 juz consistently every single day. An now I find that I need to read 3 and I have to memorize my lines. And I have to revise the most recent hizb I memorized at least 4 times which is in effect reading another 2-3 ajzaa’. So really I read 6 juz a day.) And that has to be done just to maintain 5 juz. The aim is 30. </p><p>But here’s the thing. Here’s the secret 🤫. So please don’t spread it too far. When the intention is sincere all a person has to do is show up. Really and truly. Showing up is all that is required. Allah takes care of the rest. I find that my greatest struggle is just being where I need to be at the time I need to be there and starting my process. Once I begin Allah takes over. I am instantaneously amazed at the progress I make. Making the decision to get there… that has been hard. And it has been a source of pain deep in my spirit.</p><p>I want Quran and I need Quran. But what if I neglect my children or family and Allah becomes angry with me? (That excuse barely makes sense.) Or what if I can’t really do it and I give up and fail in front of my kids. (That excuse for not showing up makes even less sense.) Nevertheless… It still is a source of worry.</p><p>Anyway This week I will do something different. I will not think. I will tell myself what to do and simply execute!. </p><p>1. Don’t complain. Yes it’s awful that my potty trained daughter peed on the floor because she didn't feel like going to the bathroom. But so what. If I reach old age and end up peeing on floors and crying about, she can clean it up. Bwahahahahaa.</p><p>2. Put Quran first. The first to do. The only to do every Quran workday is Quran. Allah has already taken care of the rest. </p><p>3. Suck It Up. I am not the most hurt person in the world. Whatever the hardship, problem, pain, heartache, etc. someone else will always win the who suffers the most contest. So stop trying to compete. Suck it up and do the work.</p><p>4. Always tell yourself something good. It takes guts to memorize quran. I have guts. I have heart. </p>Blackseedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15138820426739715840noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1053653182568493383.post-470858743309909222023-06-20T02:57:00.002+03:002023-06-20T02:57:39.038+03:00<p> Bismillah,</p><p>I feel like a crazy person. I feel like a crazy person spinning on a wheel getting nowhere. I feel like a crazy person spinning on a wheel getting nowhere fast giving up on my dreams only to realize that i have to keep going. Then I collapse from sheer exhaustion.</p><p>Every morning I wake up and have to tell myself, remind myself what it is that I am doing. Okay so it’s not really that dramatic. But sometimes I do get so exhausted that I forget the point of working so hard for a goal. And I just want to sleep for a week. In this case the goal is so far away that it isn’t really about the goal. No. It’s about the transformation along the way. And I have a ways to go. </p><p>I remember Master Yoda telling me an aya once. It went something like…”Quran is a healing for everything in the breast.” It never occurred to me that that might mean that everything ailment in my soul is going to be brought out and released if I really try to memorize Quran. Or that I would be forced to learn and grow if I want to even have a chance at attaining my goal.</p><p>That has been the hardest part for me. It is the discovery that I am not as great as I think I am. I have more flaws than I may ever know. And at the same time, nor am I as terrible as Satan whispers to me that I am. And with consistent taubah all of my sins will be continually washed away. I am water being filtered through Quran. And the process right now is slow. And Allahu Akbar it is also steady. </p><p> </p><p><br /></p>Blackseedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15138820426739715840noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1053653182568493383.post-47634243350768862362023-02-22T01:18:00.001+02:002023-02-22T01:18:01.216+02:00<p> Bismilllah</p><p>As Salaamu alaikum,</p><p>Im almost there I have almost completed the 29th juz. Ten lines to memorize and I’m done. So I’m typing this to give my self a pep talk because there are so many things I need to do that i would rather just lay in bed and go to sleep on top of the mountain of laundry I need to fold. But no! Not today. Today I will sit and read my quran for an hour before i do anything else. I will eat my vegetables and enjoy them. </p>Blackseedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15138820426739715840noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1053653182568493383.post-41696479308966195552023-01-30T14:47:00.001+02:002023-01-30T14:47:29.710+02:00Settling into the Rhythm of Qur’an<p> <span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Bismillah,</span></span></p><p><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Assalaamu alaikum</span></span></p><p><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"><span style="font-size: medium;">SubhaanAllah there are moments while memorizing Quran where I lose myself in the words and… and just allow myself to feel the rhythm of the letters. As I journey farther into the book I find that the ayaat are completely foreign to my mind and spirit.</span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"><span style="font-size: medium;">As I try to etch the words on my heart I feel as though I am writing circles on water, quicksand, dough, then wet cement. When I reach this point I just have to keep it fresh revising and reciting it everyday until it solidifies <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>on my heart. But how long will that take?</span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I used to think that memorizing Quran would get easier once I was able to be consistent. But that isn’t the case (yet?). The more I chase after it the more it seems to disappear. It evades my grasp leaving me to wonder if I am doing something wrong. Then the ayaat begin to overlap and I time warp from one sura to another, connecting different meanings and getting lost in the sounds. </span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Then I smile. Then I turn and grin. Allah is with me and this is my path. This journey is the medicine that I need in my heart. This is the healing I’ve been looking for. Quran is a cure for everything in the breast. Sometimes I guess I need to take my medicine slowly.</span></span></p>Blackseedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15138820426739715840noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1053653182568493383.post-19121710320644969702023-01-19T07:56:00.001+02:002023-01-19T07:56:05.135+02:00<p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 51.6px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 3px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 51.64px; font-weight: bold;">Sura Nuh</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 31.4px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 42.8px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 31.43px;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 31.4px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 42.8px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 31.43px;"></span><br /></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 31.4px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 31.43px;">“Surely we sent Nuh to his people to warn them before a painful punishment came.”</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 31.4px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 42.8px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 31.43px;"></span><br /></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 31.4px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 31.43px;"> It took me a while to memorize this sura. There were a lot of personal lessons I had to learn in order to finish it. I had to learn, again, how important it is to sleep. I had to learn how valuable quiet moments are. And Allah also caused me to remember what a blessing it is to be in good health. Master Yoda and the children were all sick. Or rather they are all sick. They dropped like flies one after the other. And they are enjoying the blessings of delicious cough drops. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 31.4px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 42.8px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 31.43px;"></span><br /></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 31.4px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 31.43px;">Sickness is beyond our control. We can take all the medicines and wear the masks but what is coming for a person won’t miss him or her. And what was coming to the disobedient people of Noah only missed a few of them. It missed the few who chose to believe.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 31.4px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 42.8px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 31.43px;"></span><br /></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 31.4px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 31.43px;">Allah sends us messages through the messengers because He loves us. He wants to give us the choice and the chance to turn to Him alone. Sura Nuh is the story of a people who were the first to commit the worst sin in history. Their sin was idolatry. In my discussions with Master Yoda about this sura, ( he has done comparative christian research on Nuh/Noah peace be upon him) he mentioned so many pieces of the story that are left out or misconstrued in the Bible. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 31.4px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 42.8px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 31.43px;"></span><br /></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 31.4px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 31.43px;">So here are some quick facts, for anyone reading, just to have the Quranic story straight,</span></p><ol class="ol1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><li class="li3" style="font-size: 31.4px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 31.43px;">Noah was sent to his people by Allah/God to warn the people and protect them from a painful punishment.</span></li><li class="li3" style="font-size: 31.4px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 31.43px;">He counseled them to worship Allah, to fear Allah, and to obey him.</span></li><li class="li3" style="font-size: 31.4px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 31.43px;">He delivered the message for 950 years.</span></li><li class="li3" style="font-size: 31.4px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 31.43px;">He preached out loud/openly, in secret/privately, day and night.</span></li><li class="li3" style="font-size: 31.4px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 31.43px;">He told them of the rewards of Allah and that Allah would bless and increase them in wealth and children, and give them lush gardens and flowing rivers.</span></li><li class="li3" style="font-size: 31.4px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 31.43px;">He delivered the message to the point that his people put their fingers in their ears and wrapped <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>themselves in their clothing to avoid him.</span></li><li class="li3" style="font-size: 31.4px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 31.43px;">After 950 years of seeing generation after generation led astray He prayed to Allah that these people would be removed from the earth because of their sins and the fact that they only gave birth to sinning criminals.</span></li></ol><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 31.4px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 42.8px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 31.43px;"></span><br /></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 31.4px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 31.43px;">I can’t imagine the dedication it must have taken to deliver the message to people who didn’t even want to hear it for 950 years. Perhaps I can have a little more courage in doing the things that I find difficult.</span></p>Blackseedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15138820426739715840noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1053653182568493383.post-66740156362270591712023-01-15T07:06:00.005+02:002023-01-15T07:06:53.669+02:00What I’m Aiming For<p> Bismillah</p><p>As Salaamu alaikum,</p><p><br /></p><p>I open my eyes at 3 am and stand up. I lift my hands to the sky and stretch as I say my morning du’a /prayers. This is my time with Allah. I turn on the shower then use the toilet super fast. I shower then rub myself down in essential oils blended with argon, grape seed, and olive oil. I brushed my teeth and hair in the shower so now I am almost ready. I dress in the outfit I picked out the night before and add earrings a necklace and shimmery lipgloss. I put a thin layer of Kohl in my eyes. I am ready to be embraced by my Lord. This is my time. This is when I lay my burdens down and lose all sight and concern for self. I go to my special place and stand before my Lord. My nurturing and loving Allah. Here I am Lord engulf me in your spirit. Memorizing Quran is tough. Please help me eat through one more day.</p><p>Then I sit open my mushaf and memorize. Then I revise with a friend from 4:30-5. Quran class is 5-5:20 am Mon-Thur. My 2 year old wakes up around the start of class or right before. She sits in my lap and makes faces at the camera as I try to concentrate hard enough to remember yesterdays lesson despite the antics and giggles of a 2-year-old. </p><p>After class I make my next post for this blog then I teach a 1-1 tajweed lesson. Its rewarding to help another sister get closer to quran. I begin to feel the rush tugging at me and I start ticking my body moving my shoulders up and down getting ready for the morning rush its going to be wild today but the time will pass and I will succeed. </p><p>6:15</p><p>Ready. Set. Go!</p><p>Two sunnah rakats then FAjr salat. Complete with dhikr.</p><p>Alarm goes off I grab my phone turn off the alarm and turn on zoom for my daughter/son to have her/his Quran lesson. The child i s set I go and put a load in the washing machine. Then I make breakfast we eat at 7 and I want to be able to go to the Kroc center today. So I pack a snack bag for three because who even know who will have to come with me.</p><p>Its 6:47 why is the time passing so quickly. Time for morning Awrad. I hop on the stationary bike with my 📿 rosary in hand. I Imagine I am riding through a field of wildflowers glorifying my Lord all the time. Done. I hop off the bike. Its already 7. Anyone who isn’t awake I wake them now inticing Them with the promise of a warm meal ready to go. I put on my headphone And turn on whatever sura I am working on. Time to revise. I take the two littles. Dress them. 2 minutes if the clothes are ready 4 minutes if the clothes aren’t ready. Wash their faces and hands. Then sit them down to eat. —— How did you manage to get food in your hair dearest and food down your back. I change one or both of their clothing again. </p><p>7:40 </p><p>MAn Im late! Time warp. I go to the family room barking orders at tiny people the whole way. Do this. Don’t do that. Im gonna get you later! Giggles and litter pattering feet seem to echo all around me. I love it. 💕 In the family room I give my sone his lesson then make sure my oldest is revising her Quran. I stop moving long enough to take three deep breaths and slow my heart. The sound of Husary plays the headphones and reaches into my spirit. I can do this. My som has his lessons now I can go I drop the kids and school and talk myself out of going to the Gym. I want a nap</p><p>9am I take a nap</p><p>To be continued… </p><p><br /></p>Blackseedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15138820426739715840noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1053653182568493383.post-40859482581403592472023-01-12T15:23:00.001+02:002023-01-12T15:23:52.543+02:00<p> Bismillah</p><p>As Salaamu alaikum,</p><p><br /></p><p>Hello self. Good morning! Will you please be good today?</p><p>Often, in the midst of a memorization session, I will receive a thought so compelling that it stops me in my tracks. And I have to stop and figure out where I am and what I’m doing. I have to look down at the page of Quran to remember what I was doing and that I need to continue. When that happens I know that I am on the cusp of a breakthrough and Shaitan is doing everything he can to stop my success. </p><p>Alhamdulillah. All praise is for He who originates the souls and has given us beautiful forms. We stand upright and our hearts face one another. </p><p>There is a sweetness in the rhythmic remembrance of Allah. The recitation of Quran doesn’t always come easy. But there is a certain point at which you cross a boundary. An internal spiritual boundary, that allows one to begin to access intimacy with Allah. It’s a different type of experience. Once one has gotten beyond a certain degree of pain and hardship in recitation and has submitted ones will to Allah completely something simply happens. </p><p>I’ve heard it described as flow in some circles. Time seems to slow or to speed up and there is no separation between the self and the words. Focus is complete and concentration is whole. At the times I have reached this state everything else blurs into a dull background. Suddenly I’ll hear someone from a distance say, “It’s time to pray.” Or I’ll feel a need tug at me. When that happens I feel as if I’m waking from a dream. And as the Quran and I separate I begin to notice myself again. My limbs are heavy. I feel hunger. Sometime, if I’ve been sitting unchanged for over an hour, sharp stings of pain will shoot down and up my legs as they awaken. My body will often feel extremely tired but there is also something more. A deep relief and blessed taste swirls around in my spirit. I can barely enjoy it before it fades and I go back to being an ordinary person. But for the smallest glimpse of time I feel as if I had walked in heaven and I cannot wait to return.</p>Blackseedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15138820426739715840noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1053653182568493383.post-73718995997634086732023-01-11T14:40:00.003+02:002023-01-11T14:40:54.546+02:00<p> Bismillah</p><p>Assalaamu alaikum</p><p><br /></p><p>It is difficult to memorize Quran with small children who cannot feed, dress, or clean themselves. And that difficulty is multiplied when we are ill or when I or master Yoda have to travel. It can feel overwhelming to even attempt to accomplish something so big as memorizing the Quran by heart. And sometimes thinking about it slows my memorization down to a crawl. So I sigh and I smile. Because in the difficult moments, trying to hold onto Quran reminds me that Allah is with me. And when Allah is with a person there is no failing. There is simply decree. </p><p>What I mean by that is that there are times we need to rest. So we should rest. There are times we need to unwind. So we should unwind, and there are times we need to worship and work. So we should worship and work. Being able to decide what to do at the exact time that you need is a definition of discipline. Having to memorize the same half page over and over day after day for hours is not failing. It is simply decree. There are times when Allah slows us down so we can stop, assess, and make changes to our routine. I no longer fear that I am going to give up trying to memorize. However I often feel like giving up. But I choose to do what I think is right no matter what I feel. And when I stand before Allah on judgement day I want the quran there by my side as a witness for me. Reality gives me strength.</p>Blackseedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15138820426739715840noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1053653182568493383.post-62255066705518964972023-01-10T13:51:00.001+02:002023-01-10T14:42:27.644+02:00<p> Bismillah</p><p>As salaamu alaikum,</p><p><br /></p><p>I am feeling grateful today for the struggle of going after something I love and need. I have moved from memorizing from the front of the mushaf, where I made it to the end of An’aam, to memorizing from the back of the Quran. I am memorizing with my children that way so I can help them along and we can revise together. And so I can learn and teach humility. They are ahead of me and they have such happy looks of ernest joy when I ask them to test me on a page they already know. </p><p>It was the right decision to memorize with them and I am grateful Allah inspired that idea in me. Then came Sura Jinn. OMG! I thought I had it going on but sura Jinn is a beast. Trying t memorize it, I feel like I am galloping toward it on a strong steed. I lasso it and catch it. Then it vanishes into thin air with an eerie laugh that echos in my mind. Is it inna, innahu, lamma, dhaunna. Hahahahahaaa. </p><p>I am learning a lesson here in this sura. I am learning that sometimes its not about what I think I am giving, or the work and time I think I am dedicating to something. It’s about what I am actually giving. It’s about what I am deciding to put first and what I am choosing to allow to distract me from What I claim is the most important thing to my heart and soul. And I feel that I am coming up short. No I know that I am coming up short. I have a decision to make. I have to choose to put first things first. If you want to memorize Quran, you have to put Quran first. And with my many adult responsibilities to maintain, that are necessary for others to exist and thrive, it is difficult to choose to put myself and my desire to please Allah before every other person or thing in my life. But I know that if I sincerely make the best choice everyday, Allah will carry me through. </p>Blackseedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15138820426739715840noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1053653182568493383.post-83646391680809605762022-08-17T04:29:00.004+02:002022-08-17T11:53:44.872+02:00<p> Bismillah</p><p>As Salaamu alaikum,</p><p><br /></p><p>I recently travelled far from home to help my family welcome a new member. A baby girl whom I will call Dewdrop. I relaxed, cooked, loved, cleaned, and cared for people I love dearly. Then I went home and returned to real life. </p><p>There have not been many times in my life where I have been removed from my environment then returned to it in such a way that I get to assess what impact that environment has on me. And I have to say it has been an eye opening moment. Because I have been blessed to realize that the problem is me. I have accustomed myself to feeling overwhelmed and now all I have to do is walk into the door to feel it.</p><p>When I returned home the house was clean and the children well looked after. And that said it all. I could no longer blame my difficulty in finding consistent time to spend with quran on my house or my loud kids. Our minds have to heal just as much as our bodies and hearts when we have gone through difficulty. </p><p>It is not enough to endure but we must push past that level and begin to thrive once again. For me the ability to thrive consists of consistently memorizing and revising Quran. Everything that distracts from that is simply not worth my time and not worth having in my heart or my home. </p>Blackseedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15138820426739715840noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1053653182568493383.post-11021390818132663822022-08-05T05:40:00.003+02:002022-08-05T05:40:43.566+02:00Choose Allah. Choose Quran<p> Bismillah </p><p>Assalaamu Alaikum,</p><p><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 21px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">I have dreams. I have things I believe in and hold dear. And I have space in my heart only to love. I don’t have space for grieving what is lost when Allah has given me so much. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 21px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 29.1px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 21px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">After my first child was born I struggled in my relationship with Allah. The slow steady beat down of unfinishable, toilsome, work chipped away every bit of energy I had. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 21px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 29.1px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 21px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">And when there was nothing left I would collapse and just hope and pray for someone to help me. Then Allah removed my support system and the help I hadn’t been grateful enough for was gone. And there really was no one there to aid me… Or so I thought. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 21px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 29.1px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: 21px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">Turns out when I stopped looking to others for help Allah gave me the energy to help myself. Because when we think about it and remember the reality, we should know that it is Allah who is orchestrating all of this existence anyway. All we are charged with is choice. So I will choose what is most loved by my Lord. </span></p>Blackseedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15138820426739715840noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1053653182568493383.post-14955561279687583682022-08-03T12:18:00.004+02:002022-08-03T12:18:18.201+02:00<p> Bismillah</p><p>ASsalaamu alaikum,</p><p>I woke up this morning to the sound of a small body and small feet pitter pattering around the kitchen. There was a knock at my door. A voice said something that sounded like “blah blah blah blah blah blah?” I tried to move but my limbs were heavy with exhaustion. “Quran, Quran,” I thought to myself. “I must read my Quran.” Slowly I moved. Slowly I turned. The summer cold we all caught was still rattling in my head. </p><p>I look at the time, five o’clock. It’s still dark out. Alhamdulillah I haven’t missed fajr, but my time for Quran is fast fading. I move as if in a trance. I am sleepwalking. Brush… shower… dress… pray… feed the babies… wake the kids… pray with the kids… clean the kitchen... Meanwhile a silent alarm is going off in my mind. Time is running out. Quran, Quran, QURAN! I sit. I pick up my musfah, a baby with a glob of yellow snot running down here face and into her mouth appears before me. I put the mushaf down. Look after her, put the quiche in the oven. I sit again and reach for my mushaf. Oh no! I forgot to cancel the kids quran class. They have sore throats. I log into WhatsApp and cancel class. I get distracted typing this message. Lol. The baby comes back to lay on my chest. Alhamdulillah her fever just broke. I remember how frightened I was when I felt her this morning and all of her skin was hot. Alhamdulillah im so relieved she’s cooled down some. I sit, reach for the mushaf. There is a warm baby on my chest. </p><p>A’oothoo beellaahi…</p><p>Bismillah hir-Rahmaanir-Raheem… </p><p>Oh Allah you are my strength. Hold me up!</p>Blackseedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15138820426739715840noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1053653182568493383.post-46776396739294611872022-06-05T22:51:00.000+02:002022-06-05T22:51:45.159+02:00<p> Bismillah</p><p>Assalaamu alaikum,</p><p>I talk to myself. I am my own personal motivational coach. Just last week i said to myself, “Blackseed, you have to finish Surah BAqara this week! You been slacking. Are you a slacker?”</p><p>And of course I had to respond, “ No! I AM NOT A SLACKER!” Then a whole week went by and I didnt complete a single page of Quran… Because I had Covid. It felt pretty much like a mild flu. But it had been a long time since my energy was so thoroughly drained the way Covid drained me. But alhamdulillah I am recovering as is Master Yoda and the young longs. I still have a lingering dull headache humming in my ears. But there is something else humming there too.</p><p>I had forgotten just how much I rely on my body to do what i ask of it. I had forgotten just how much work it takes to run a household and that the reason i cannot always accomplish the goals i set is because i may have to hold my 11 year old whose head hurts so much all she can do is cry and moan while we wait the necessary hours between doses of Tylenol and IBUPROFEN. Alhamdulillah for the strength to carry on. To rise up and try again. Then to fail miserably and try again. Then try again.</p><p>Until one day, this morning actually, i got up and memorized 4 pages of Quran. And not because of anything special within me, but because of Allah. Because Allah truly can do anything. What is required is that we show up. And keep showing up, and never give up until the job is done. </p>Blackseedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15138820426739715840noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1053653182568493383.post-81176645835649495372022-05-29T17:40:00.002+02:002022-05-29T17:40:20.033+02:00<p> Bismillah</p><p>It’s strange to be here again. I just completed juz 2. Baqara is finished in 8 pages. 1 week inshaAllah. The first time around it was amazing. This time I’m getting choked up. I can feel the relief coming. But it’s not arrived yet. What is the relief? Its the exhale. Its the one breath i take between contractions. Its the moment i give myself to reset… then keep going. </p><p>Its time to keep going. Push through the hard moments. Plow through the pain. Concentrate through the boredom. Discipline is the ability to do the same thing over and over regardless of how you feel. Because what you are doing is necessary. Bismillah full speed ahead.</p><br /><p></p>Blackseedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15138820426739715840noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1053653182568493383.post-19465723634557433452022-04-22T06:08:00.004+02:002022-04-22T06:11:20.357+02:00<p><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Bismillah</span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">As Salaamu alaikum</span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Sunday Ramadan 1st 1443.</span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">It is Ramadan. The month of mercy has come. And the time has come for me to recommit to completing my memorization of Quran. 15 Years ago I attempted it, seriously, for the first time. But the demands of having small children to care for and a full time life at first slowed my progress then stopped it completely after completing 5 juz. That was over 8 years ago now. And I’ve been struggling to get back to it ever since, but the idea of completely starting over stopped me for a long time.</span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">As I struggled to find time for Quran, I had to reevaluate every aspect of my life until I came to the realization that the only one stopping me from memorizing the book of Allah is me. Once I accepted that, I was able to slowly come back to Quran. I started by reading a page a day after fajr. One page became two pages. Two pages became four pages. And I slowly and steadily build my stamina for Quran. </span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: large;">It took 3 years of slow steady progress but this Ramadan in the first </span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">week I</span></span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"> memorized 1 juz in one week. I had never done anything like that before and it blew me away. Bare in mind I was very familiar with it but many of us are very familiar with the first several pages of Quran. The question is do we want to memorize it badly enough to go the extra mile that it takes to get it done. And for me, for the first time in a long time, my answer is</span><span style="font-size: x-large;"> YES.</span></span></p>Blackseedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15138820426739715840noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1053653182568493383.post-52726556051203600362021-09-19T15:55:00.005+02:002021-09-19T15:55:57.898+02:00<p> Bismillah</p><p>I am starting over. But I’ve been struggling with the thought of being a haafidh. I memorized the first 5 juz over ten years ago. That was before I had children. I thought it was difficult but doable. After the birth of my first child it became nearly impossible to find time to do anything. Trying to memorize Quran on top of that was beyond me for several years.</p><p>In late fall 2019, before the world was watching Corona Virus, I was sitting on the small balcony of a rented vacation home ( a gift from family) thinking about my time in this world and being honest with myself about what I wanted to accomplish before leaving it. This was different however than what I <i>believed</i> I could accomplish, as by this time I had given up hope of being a preserver of Allah’s word. </p><p>As I looked out over the calm peaceful water 💦, saw fish jumping up every now and then, I could feel something stir within me that I could not then put into words. Allah made all of this and he made me. There is nothing He cannot do. If Allah wants me to memorize Quran than I will memorize Quran. If Allah wants good for me nothing in the planets, in the earth or on the land can stop that. So I sat there. I closed my eyes and I sincerely asked Allah to make me memorize quran. I asked Him to put me in a position where I would be forced to do it. </p><p>Slowly over the next 2 years Allah did just that. It was so subtle I could hardly recognize it was happening. It started slow I would get inspired to read a bit after fajr. And I would read. But instead of trying to read a whole lot like I used to do, I began to practice the hadith “a small consistent good action is more beloved to Allah than a big inconsistent good deed.” Allah gave me success. I was able to consistently read 2 pages a day for 6 months. Then Allah blessed me to increase it to 4 pages. </p><p>Then I started memorizing again picking up where I left off at sura Al-Maaidah. I started with half a page a week, a line a day. It was hard. It took everything in me and I felt like my children were being made to suffer from what I was trying to accomplish. It didn’t seem fair to them. I pushed through all those negative feelings however and kept going. The house was a wreck. I had to. I’d take a day off deals and cook like mad. I had to. I kept going. I had to prove to myself that there was no excuse that was going to turn me Away from the word of God! I had to follow that small secret inner voice that kept telling me just one more line just one more page just one more day. “Allah sees you.” It said to me. Allah sees me I said to myself.</p><p>One day I was struggling. I had a newborn (3/4 months old) I had to make dinner my spouse was traveling and there was no one there to aid me. No one but Allah. And Allah came to my aid. Nothing spectacular happened. Allah simply expanded me. Allah increased my capacity. My mind focused through all the noise. I nursed the baby put her on my back made dinner bathed my children all while listening to my Quran. Allah made it happen.</p><p>Then I heard it. My 1-year-old was running in and out of the kitchen babbling in Quranic tones I could even hear some words being recited. It warmed my heart so much. It gave me such peace. It gave me just enough comfort to believe that I was on the right track. Allah is subtle. </p><p>I finished Maaidah and An’aam in this chaos. But then I stagnated the weight of the world was pressing in on me. It felt too much to bear. Then the answer came. “Start over.” Master Yoda said. So I did.</p><p>August 15 2021 I decide that I was ready to go after Quran memorization with all of my being. With six children. With a husband. With a house to run. With a sewing business I am trying to start. And a whole lot of other withs as well… I have committed myself to going after whatever Allah has for me. Because its not me who’s doing it. It’s Allah. I am just showing up. And I’ve been showing up. And I’m almost at 2 juz.</p>Blackseedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15138820426739715840noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1053653182568493383.post-50233849492487524502021-02-23T16:20:00.000+02:002021-02-23T16:20:43.471+02:00<p> Bismillah As Salaamu Alaikum</p><p>In Aya 93 we talked about the death process of those who are the worst people. Now is ayaat 94 and we begin with:</p><p>“And now you have come to us...” This is about the people who died in the previous ayah. They are now standing before Allah, “Alone as we created you the first time.”</p><p>Khawwalna: To give someone something to take care of </p><p>Allah gives us life in this world so that we can take care of what we are supposed to take care of, build and grow. We are to use all the tool and circumstances Allah creates to get closer to Him. Not so that we deluded ourselves by the life of this world. Or that we feel we have power over Allah. No intercession will they find and no helper. They will be naked and afraid in front of the Lord of the worlds.</p><p>“Everything has been ripped up between you.” Every idea that connected people together everything that connects materially, familially, socially, all of it will be shredded. Whatever the relationship that ties us together in this world is it will be ripped up. And the Qiraat difference here means either the people will disassociate themselves or what was between them will be disassociated. Even those who want to look for helpers in this moment of severe need there won’t be one.</p><p>Except for those of Taqwa. </p><p>“And the things that you used to claim have left you in the lurch.” And now the time has come that you must answer for what you did. </p><p>Allah Allah.</p>Blackseedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15138820426739715840noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1053653182568493383.post-44516769946605602002021-02-20T18:57:00.001+02:002021-02-20T18:57:21.338+02:00<p> Bismillah, As Salaamu Alaikum</p><p>As I took notes for my Tafseer class this morning, I was struck by the feeling of inadequacy. I began with the following words:</p><p>Qadara: to determine the capability of something. To be the way it is proportioned to be. We guesstimate what others can and cannot do. But Allah actually knows. So when we look at actions in the past we should know that Allah is the One who wills all things.</p><p>Then what is it that I still doubt in the reality of the Quran? Anaam ayah 91 is all that we covered today. Boy is the Qur’an rich. In sura Fatihah Allah teaches us how to praise Him. He gives us the words because He knows our minds, which He has created, cannot “due” Him justice. So He guides us to what He knows we need. Our doubt of that guidance and light is, in itself, a belief that Allah has limits that are based on what we believe. The notes continue:</p><p>“And they don’t give Allah His due proportion.” “They say that Allah did not reveal anything to a human being.” They limit what Allah can do with their disbelief. “But who revealed the book to Musa. A light and a guide.” Nur is the light we need to see by and guidance is showing us how to reach our destination.</p><p>We need to see and we need a map in order to reach our goals. What did the people who received the guidance before us do with it?</p><p> “They made it into a loosely bound book revealing some of it and hiding a lot of it.” How was it hidden? They would delete certain portions or physically cover some portions. Or they changed the words altogether. This book “taught them things they didnt know and things their fathers didn’t know.”</p><p>Yet still those who know Allah revealed truth to human beings before claim that Allah cant or wont reveal truth to Muhammad. So what left but to </p><p>“Leave them plunging in their games.”</p><p>For some games leave the players stranded on the field.</p>Blackseedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15138820426739715840noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1053653182568493383.post-81689671631931360152021-02-10T04:05:00.002+02:002021-02-10T04:05:35.499+02:00<p> Bismillah </p><p>Al-An’aam 80-81</p><p>Have you ever thought of the moment that Ibrahim (A) became the miracle. His faith was strong enough to see pain and know that Allah would grant him safety. I definitely need me some of that. Faith is a funny thing. It rises and falls like the tides, always churning. The story of Ibrahim makes me wonder how certainty feels. How does it feel to have no doubt. I can only imagine that it comes as a slow steady sweetness filling ones breast with light. I would like certainty.</p><p>Ibrahim (a) was shown the malakoot of the heavens and the earth so when he says to the disbelievers that he is not afraid of their gods and they can do nothing to him (Ibrahim) except what Allah wills. He has full confidence that not only is he correct but that Allah has his back, front, sides, upper and lower. I sigh deeply as my heart extends itself outward to feel that grace. </p><p>(Wasi’a Rabbi Kulla shayy) And my Lord has knowledge of all things. Will you not then recollect?</p><p>Ibrahim (A) is calling upon his people to think about the reality of existence in this world. All the prophets come with a clear message and when their people are destroyed the traces of that destruction are seen in the lands. Ibrahim (A) is calling on his people to remember this fact. But they have no shame in front of the one who causes the sun to rise in the east.</p><p>How do we turn away from God while we know? Then we call on Him when we are afraid. It is as if those who disbelieve are unwilling to relinquish the belief that they control their fate, even though everyone knows that we have no control over when we die. </p><p>(Ilm takleed thaun wahm shak jalh) Just thought I’d play with your mind a little.</p>Blackseedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15138820426739715840noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1053653182568493383.post-39184419445185947302020-12-03T08:27:00.000+02:002020-12-03T08:27:04.990+02:00<p> Bismillah </p><p>As Salaamu aalaikum,</p><p><br /></p><p>Sigh. Exhale. Deep breath. Sura Maaidah has come to a close, but its the first ayaat that are reverberating in my mind. “Oh you who have believed.” Directly to me is my Lord speaking. I feel the words echo in the corners of my mind and the recesses of my soul. </p><p>The Qur’an is guidance “sure without doubt for those who believe.” And so we say, “I believe.” </p><p>Sura Maaidah is the contract Allah has given to those who claim to believe. In its words and meanings are realities that I had not known existed until Allah showed them to me. Sura Maaidah is an open book quiz where the answers to the questions we have in this world are all laid out and the bits and pieces that we take for ourselves are placed front and center so that we can see if we really do believe. </p><p>What a cryptic beginning! But I thought it befitting since my last post was over 5 years ago. A lot of cryptography happened during that intermission. But what has endured is the quest to know the word of Allah. So here I am at the starting line again hoping for Allah to open the doors for me and show me what He loves the most.</p><p>Sura Maaidah is amazing. There were so many verses that completely floored me and so many others that brought me to a point of intense reflection in a way that only Quran can. It is 120 verses and 1 juz+1page long. It is a Madani sura and part of the replacement for the Torah. </p><p>It begins with the covenant between Allah and man. Which is a set of simple laws and stipulations that if we uphold Allah will reward us with everlasting eternal bliss. Seems like a pretty good deal for 50-100 years in this world. But its such a simple thing. And the more I think about it the more simple it seems. Allah just asks us to obey Him. He gives us the choice to obey or not obey but He leaves it in our hands to do with that choice as we please. This point really sticks with me because as I moved through this sura with master Yoda, repeating the verses and learning the Tafseer, I began to see a pattern that opened me to much deeper meanings. I began to see myself. I began to see the story of my people.</p><p>“Oh Messenger don't be saddened by those who rush to disbelief.” </p><p>What does this mean? How do we rush to disbelief? “Those who say ‘We believe’ with their mouths but don’t believe in their hearts.” Allah truly sees us for who we are. He knows which of us is honest and whom among us are liars. So why not just admit the truth and move on? </p><p>This post is just meant to be an intro to my thoughts on Sura Maaidah. A whiff so to speak of its sweet scent. And a challenge to myself to keep going to post every week and to begin to dream again of being able to recite from Fatiha to Naas never once opening a Mushaf.</p><p><br /></p>Blackseedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15138820426739715840noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1053653182568493383.post-18435258987029636292013-05-24T18:17:00.001+02:002013-05-24T18:17:20.700+02:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Bismillah<br />
As salaamu alaikum,<br />
<br />
There is no metaphor I know that can exactly describe memorizing Qur'an. It's more crunchy and sweet than a box of chocolates, and more time and energy consuming than a marathon. It is a way of life. It is a thing that fills the whole soul, thoughts, and aspirations of a person before one knows it. It is a correcting lens that gives perspective to the physical and spiritual eye. It is a soothing balm that covers and heals the bruises and suffering of the heart. It is the friend who always knows just what to say even when one doesn't want to hear it. It is conversation with Allah Almighty. Read it. Know it. Well.</div>
Blackseedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15138820426739715840noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1053653182568493383.post-32557026742832730772012-05-25T16:27:00.000+02:002012-05-25T16:27:01.032+02:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Bismillah<br />
As salaamu alaikum,<br />
<br />
Just wanted to share some insights on modesty from Master Yoda.<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 14px;">There is a lot to talk about regarding the spiritual side of modesty, so I'll try to keep it brief.<br /><br />1. Modesty is an expression for one's love for Allah and seeking his forgiveness:<br />In the Quran, Allah instructs the Prophet to tell us "if <span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;">you love Allah then follow me and Allah will love you and forgive your sins."<br />One of the greatest traits of the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, was his remarkable level of modesty. By following his example, we establish our love for Allah and open ourselves to receiving His love and forgiveness.<br /><br />2. We draw nearer to Allah through ascending through levels of modesty:<br />When we talk about modesty, we must understand that there are levels. There is the obligatory level, which is the most beloved to Allah, because all of the other levels build upon that level. Allah says in a hadith Qudsi: "The most beloved thing to Me that a person can do to draw nearer to me is doing that which I have made obligatory upon him."<br />The obligatory level consists of being modest in public by concealing one's 'Awra (the legally-defined private areas of the body) and refraining from all forms of sexual deviance. The higher levels of modesty consists of being modest in private, in your own household with your family and even with yourself. The Prophet's modesty at home was at such a high level that, although they had healthy marital relationships, his wives didn't look at his private parts. nor did he expose himself in such a way. This is narrated in a hadith of 'Aisha: "I never looked at the Prophet's private parts and never saw them."<br />Then, the levels of modesty continue to strengthen until we become modest with the Jinn and the angels. This modesty can strengthen so much that, as one scholar said, "the unseen will become like the seen," such that you become so aware of the angels' presence that it will be as if you see them plainly.<br />A person can become so conscious of his modesty with the angels that the angels will become shy of him! This is a level the companion Uthman b. 'Affan reached.<br />The Prophet encourages us to observe this level of modesty in a hadith: The Prophet said, "Didn't I forbid you from nakedness? Didn't I forbid you from nakedness? There are beings [angels] that never leave you in the day or night, except when you are engaged with your spouse or when you are using the bathroom, so lo, be modest with them, and lo, be honorable with them."<br /><br />We are even advised to be modest with the jinn as well, even though we generally don't see them. This is achieved by creating a spiritual veil between us and them when taking our clothes off by saying, "bismillah aladhi la ilaha illa hu", as indicated in hadith. The translation of it is: "In the Name of whom there is no god other than Him."<br /><br />And finally, and most importantly, the highest level is being in a constant station of modesty with Allah at all times, even when we are asleep, and even in our dreams.<br />This level is affirmed in a hadith, when, one day, the Prophet told the people to cover their 'Awrah (legally-defined private areas of the body) from everyone except their spouses, they asked, "what if we are alone, o Messenger?" He replied, 'Allah is more deserving of your modesty than the people."<br /><br />3. The more modesty and shyness we have with Allah, the more shyness Allah will have with us. He will refrain from punishing us because of this. We know this because the Prophet mentioned a man who was shy with Allah, and hence Allah was shy with him. And Allah's shyness is manifested by saving us from his punishment and answering dua.<br /><br />4. Hence, modesty and faith are linked. As believers, we cannot increase our faith without increasing our modesty. If one increases the other increases.<br />The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, "Modesty and faith are linked, if one of them increases the other will increase."<br />Similarly, if our modesty decreases our faith will decrease. Hence the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said: "Modesty and faith are linked, once one of them is taken away, the other will follow."<br /><br />Modesty is such an important part of Islam that Islam is almost defined by it. Hence, the hadith, "Every religion has a outstanding attribute, and the attribute of Islam is modesty."<br /><br />5. In light of this, it must be said that the hijab is only one part of the multi-dimentional state of modesty.<br />Moreover, hijab is only a partial, yet fundamental, part of the spiritual station of modesty. In a broad sense, modesty encompasses our speech, our eyes, our movements, even our thoughts, as well as our dress. Yet, we must note here that without practicing physical modesty, spiritual modesty can not increase. Hence, outward modesty is vital to one's spiritual growth.<br />This is why the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, "Whoever doesn't have modesty with Allah in public will not have modesty with Allah in private."<br />And regarding the topic of the hijab, it is said that the Prophet said, "A woman that removes her veil outside of her home has removed the veil [of modesty] between her and Allah."<br />So the hijab, in all of its components, is a vital part of a woman's relationship with Allah. It serves as a doorway that leads to many spiritual openings and secrets. In fact, it plays such a profound role in a woman's relationship with Allah that Allah explicitly mentions that the Virgin Mary's adorning of the hijab was a prelude for the immediate arrival of Prophet Jesus, peace and blessings be upon them both.<br /><br />[19:16]<br />Relate in the Book (the story of) Mary, when she withdrew from her family to a place in the East.<br /><br />[19:17]<br />She took up a Hijab (to screen herself) from them; then We sent her our angel, and he appeared before her as a man in all respects.<br /><br />[19:18]<br />She said: "I seek refuge from thee to (God) Most Gracious: (come not near) if thou dost fear God."<br /><br />[19:19]<br />He said: "Nay, I am only a messenger from thy Lord, (to announce) to thee the gift of a holy son.<br /><br />These are just some of the spiritual aspects of modesty. As with all spiritual stations, they can only truly be realized by experience. Words can't do justice to these realities.</span></span></div>Blackseedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15138820426739715840noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1053653182568493383.post-3094252363552624872010-12-02T20:21:00.003+02:002010-12-02T21:34:12.241+02:00Closing StatementsBismillah<br />As salaamu alaikum,<br /><br />Yesterday morning I finished Ali Imran. It was an expanding experience. I had a conversation with Master Yoda which I was never previously able to engage in. Not only did I gain a better understanding of sura Baqara, but I also learned about how and who can interpret Qur'an, the place of Christians and Jews in Islam, lineage of the prophets, Saint Maryum (Mary) God's peace be upon her, and so much more.<br /><br />I feel like I've entered a peaceful room. Ali Imran has satiated my thirst for a cool drink of water and created a stream of knowledge to my heart. I hope I continue to be illuminated by the endless knowledge Allah has revealed to us in this sura. May Allah firmly establish it in our hearts. <br /><br />Let's see. Maybe we can summarize some of it's awesomeness.Blackseedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15138820426739715840noreply@blogger.com0